I miss the life of a child, although I think I might still be living one.
Of course, having younger children certainly keeps that flame alive as well.
I had an idea of what was right or wrong when I was a kid, it was and is inherent,
as all of us do. My family played a big role in this demonstration for better or for worse,
as did yours. Noon of us are perfect and we pick up bad habits from our parents and
surroundings. Bottom line is: Nurture over Nature. Sure we have natural inclinations but I assume
most of them to be good, not "bad". "Bad" behavior comes from nurture or lack there of.
This is obviously a debate that has been going since the dawn of man, and some may never agree,
but in my experience Nurture always outweighs Nature. Certainly my daughter may be headstrong and
stubborn all on her own, but she can learn to change that behavior. The idea that she cannot change
based on the idea that that is "just who she is" is ridiculous. Obviously, some are sicker than others and sincere mental problems is not something that can be learned away. I am talking about the idea that behavior can change based on nurture over nature. A wild animal is a wild animal, but a stubborn child can learn to be less stubborn over time, we all can. It may take drastic life changing events to get us to change, but it is certainly possible, I am living proof.
My point being, when I was a child I did the "right" thing because I was afraid I would get into trouble if I did the "wrong" thing. Like most of us and most children, I feared the wrath enough to not defy the rules. I did not begin to defy until much later in life. I was a late bloomer when it came to being rebellious. I might have wanted to steal or lie as a child but was certain I would get caught and in big trouble and that was good enough for me not to do it. I may have even slightly understood that stealing did not feel good and I did have a bike stolen from me when I was kid and it made me terribly mad.
But I don't think I really did the right thing for the right reason until later in life. I did the right thing because I was told to do so and that there would be negative consequences if I did the wrong thing.
"Right" and "Wrong" are of course subjective to culture and home life and religion and many other factors, and we can debate forever on "What" is right or wrong, but I believe we know what it is for ourselves, even at a young age. Although we may behave "wrong" for other reasons when we are young, like attention seeking and acting out, but that is probably the same reason anyone would behave badly when they're an adult as well.
Ok, this is getting heady and psychological and I am not a psychiatrist.
My thought is that somewhere along the way as an adult I began to realize that doing the "right" thing, whatever that may be for me, made me feel good. I was no longer doing the right thing because I felt I had to do so or suffer consequences, I was doing so because it's who I wanted to be and the consequences of positive action felt very good. I sincerely began to understand that taking something from someone that was not mine made me feel terrible inside and giving something that was mine to someone else for no other reason than to share my good fortune made me feel alive and connected.
Maybe my late arrival in life to being a productive member of society has allowed me to really appreciate what that means. I assume most "normal" people just grow up and understand these things all by themselves at a younger age in life, but I took the long and winding road because I too was stubborn and hard headed.....hmm, I wonder where my daughter gets that trait? :)
There is a strong and lasting feeling of peace that comes from surrendering to the spiritual principles
in this physical world and just going along for the betterment of the whole. There will always be a time to stand up when life is not going in the right direction, that is standing up for the principles themselves
not rebelliousness. Practicing anonymity to do what is right for the greater good because I am a part of the greater good, rather than doing something that only benefits myself is the peace we each desire.
I am thankful for this new mind and new personality I have acquired.
I am no longer a slave to my character defects, when something gets to difficult to deal with,
I can change. Change is always possible and is always happening, whether we like it or not.
Somethings we were told were okay when we were young are not okay today.
Change stirs fear in those that resist, do not resist change, accept change.
The more we resist, the more it hurts.
Th more we accept, the easier life becomes.
We cannot change anyone but ourselves. We are powerless over everyone else.
But we are not powerless over ourselves. We always have the ability to change.
It just takes willingness. Most often we are not willing to change for fear of the unknown.
Let go, it's the easier, softer way.
Peace, Love...Zito
